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Author Topic: The Loneliness and Isolation.  (Read 6789 times)
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ALonelyWillowTree
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Living with CFS for nine years.


« on: November 24, 2012, 02:17:12 PM »

I donít have many people in my life just my parents which Iím grateful for but itís not the same as friends and people outside your own household.

I canít go out and join things as Iím bed bound with CFS and Endometriosis. I struggle with socializing on the phone and in person as I have social anxiety.

Iím struggling being isolated and alone at the moment yet equally struggle making friends and socializing.

I suppose the main word here is struggle.   Huh?

If youíd like to chat Iím here is all Iím saying Iíll try my best to socialize with you lovely people.  hug smile

Willow x
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"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass,
It's about dancing in the rain."
Static
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« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2012, 02:57:00 PM »

I am almost exactly the same, struggle with the isolation a lot and struggle to make friends, I don't get out or have any situation to socialise. I was actually thinking of making a similar post myself, so I would be more than happy to talk or to anyone else smile
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ALonelyWillowTree
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Living with CFS for nine years.


« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2012, 04:36:30 PM »

Thank you Static. I look forward to chatting and getting to know you.  smile
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It's about dancing in the rain."
Emettman
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"It's the madness that keeps him sane"


« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2012, 05:52:28 PM »

I'm around and am happy to talk: chat-room here, skype or e-mail (send PM for details of last two if interested)
Subject only to my fatigue levels.  I'm basically housebound too, and need to spend a lot of my day horizontal, currently.

On socialising, I have Asperger's syndrome, and while that gives me a good grounding for spending time alone without anxiety, I've also worked out how to "do social" without marked stress, especially in the company of people where I have something in common.

Chris
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The world still doesn't make sense, but I now know why it doesn't.  Call it progress.
tweedledee
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« Reply #4 on: November 24, 2012, 09:27:41 PM »

 s_hi Lonely willow

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way sending you big  hug hug hug and feel free to chat with me any time.

I'm in the chatroom most of the time or you can email or send PM Smiley

Take care
Dee xx
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Dan87
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« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2013, 09:15:16 PM »

Just wanted to add another name to the list here smile

I have had anxiety for the majority of my life and although at various times it has been easier, it's never gone completely. Always there in the background gnawing away no matter where I am or whatever I am doing. sad

I am more in control of my panic attacks, which is probably due to therapy and new medication. As far as friends go, well, I have one, and I see him every so often. Unfortunately the majority of the people I used to call friends have completely moved on and I don't speak with them anymore.

Feelings of isolation are really difficult to cope with, especially when you know yourself inside that it isn't a choice you've made or something you have wanted. Social anxiety, depression or any mental health issues are hard to handle because you feel locked down and held in place by the fears or feelings you have inside.

I have met other people with similar problems and what makes them (and us) great is the fact we feel more, it makes us more switched on emotionally and more in tune with the feelings of other people and ourselves. Our sensitivity towards the world and within our own life is probably part of the reason we feel so bad sometimes - we can't help but be influenced by the feelings inside.
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peachipotter
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« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2014, 11:47:42 PM »

you can talk to me. i haven't been diagnosed, although I've had symptoms for 3 years (suddenly got severely worse the past month.. now I'm 80% sure its CFS/M.E) but i feel exactly the same! very socially anxious, suffer with anxiety, get depressed a lot and suffered with ocd for the majority of my life, i have friends but i worry I'm the weird one that doesn't go out much.. i can count on one hand.. (maybe two actually) how many times I've gone out at night with friends since i started uni almost a year ago. always have a great time but then feel HORRIFIC the next day. but yeah.. finding myself bed bound with NOTHING to do so i just stare at things or my computer screen and try and think of things to do but there is nothing that fdoesnt involve energy!

I'm not glad you're feeling the same cause its horrible, but I am glad that we are experiencing this at the same time, so we can talk to others about it

also  sign0144...
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Emettman
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"It's the madness that keeps him sane"


« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2014, 07:38:08 AM »

you can talk to me. i haven't been diagnosed, although I've had symptoms for 3 years (suddenly got severely worse the past month.. now I'm 80% sure its CFS/M.E) but i feel exactly the same! very socially anxious, suffer with anxiety, get depressed a lot and suffered with ocd for the majority of my life, i have friends but i worry I'm the weird one that doesn't go out much.. i can count on one hand.. (maybe two actually) how many times I've gone out at night with friends since i started uni almost a year ago. always have a great time but then feel HORRIFIC the next day. but yeah.. finding myself bed bound with NOTHING to do so i just stare at things or my computer screen and try and think of things to do but there is nothing that fdoesnt involve energy!

I'm not glad you're feeling the same cause its horrible, but I am glad that we are experiencing this at the same time, so we can talk to others about it

also  sign0144...

Hello Lois...
You've picked up a thread that is a over a year old since the last reply, so those involved may not still be around,
but I see you've also put in a good introduction post, so I'll say a proper hello and chat more, there

Chris.
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Dan87
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« Reply #8 on: May 03, 2014, 10:03:05 AM »

Welcome to the forum and although this topic is an old one I am still around here smile

It sounds like you are struggling with life at uni and also suffering from what you suspect is CFS. Have you seen a doctor yet and if so what tests have they carried out? Most of us found it a battle with our doctors and although some of us were lucky in that the doctor was a 'believer' others found it took us a long time to get recognition from the healthcare professionals.

Suffering from depression and anxiety is bad enough on its own and I am sorry you've had such difficulty! sad

We're a friendly bunch here and will all do whatever we can to help you. Send me a PM if you want to talk as my situation is very similar to yours and you probably read that a few posts up. Like I said everyone on here is a friendly, great bunch of people and so you are in the right place!

Take care,

Dan
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peachipotter
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« Reply #9 on: May 07, 2014, 12:55:54 PM »

Ah finally found where the conversations are!!  Smiley thanks for the support,

how are you?  Smiley
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Dan87
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« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2014, 02:11:53 PM »

You are welcome! smile

I will send you a PM

Dan
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Emettman
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"It's the madness that keeps him sane"


« Reply #11 on: May 08, 2014, 02:34:43 PM »

Ah finally found where the conversations are!!  Smiley thanks for the support,

how are you?  Smiley

I tend to use
"Bits of me are excellent".
Since I won't do the socially conventional lie of "fine",
and most don't actually want to hear my latest detailed status report.
People can then take that as equating to "fine"  or enquire about the excellent bits or the not-excellent bits, as they choose.

Chris.
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peachipotter
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« Reply #12 on: July 28, 2014, 06:27:27 PM »

Sorry it took so long to reply I still havent figured this whole thing out!

How are you feeling ALonelyWillowTree?

 hug
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Emettman
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"It's the madness that keeps him sane"


« Reply #13 on: July 29, 2014, 01:02:55 PM »

Sorry it took so long to reply I still havent figured this whole thing out!

How are you feeling ALonelyWillowTree?

 hug

I'm afraid that according to her profile, ALonelyWillowTree was  "Last Active:   July 21, 2013, 10:39:37 AM"

I saw there had been a new post in this "loneliness and Isolation" thread, so decide to check in.
I'm not the best correspondent on the matter, as I don't get hit as hard by these as some others do.
It's a part of my Asperger's profile and the result of spending a lot of time alone as a child...

I know how to cope with it, and since I find even the best company tiring my residual social life has essentially vanished.

In terms of numbers of interactions with others, my postman is way ahead of the field.
Gardener once a week for five minutes, similarly my cleaner and the Tesco delivery driver.
That's it... by and large I simply can't afford to have company.

Chris.
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peachipotter
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« Reply #14 on: July 29, 2014, 03:09:38 PM »

Ah thats a shame, lets hope she's ok!

And as long as you are comfortable! You have found what works for you Smiley
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Emettman
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"It's the madness that keeps him sane"


« Reply #15 on: July 29, 2014, 05:10:40 PM »

And as long as you are comfortable! You have found what works for you Smiley

Not quite as tidy as that, but you make the best of the hole you're in, once convinced there is no better hole that can be reached.

Were I better, a bit more company would be good.
There are places I would like to go to, things I would like to do.
But they all have to go under "not for now"  and be filed away on that basis.  No sense worrying.
If I get a bit better, yes I'll be spoiled for choice on what comes first!

Meanwhile.  it is finding those little things from physical objects to mental attitudes which allow things to be that bit less dire.
Without sending too much energy just on that, of course.

Chris
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ABladeOfGrass
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« Reply #16 on: August 29, 2014, 06:19:27 PM »

Thanks you guys for talking about these things.. I'm really feeling the isolation right now. I'm kinda guilty because i feel less bad knowing that im not the only one feeling alone.. But it does help.

a question - for those of you who are mostly stuck inside and have eye pain and headaches from screens, what do you do when you feel lonely?

in line with my busy schedule of rest, for me i either: do something that makes me worse; sleep; try to sleep; but mostly feel sorry for myself and I really want a way out of this cycle.

Blass.
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Dan87
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« Reply #17 on: August 30, 2014, 08:03:38 AM »

The loneliness is something we all struggle with and this illness is hell for taking away friends. It's only to be expected when someone loses the life they once had that they are going to feel dreadfully lonely. This place is a good place to be, even if you don't post and only read then at least that gives you some contact smile.

When I feel lonely I give my cat some attention, I know that sounds silly but saying hello to him and giving him a brush etc helps combat my own loneliness. Also, documentaries are a great thing, I know you asked about the eye pain from a screen, but I have found watching a documentary less 'hard work' than writing text or playing a game (I love Far Cry 2 and 3, and also Dirt and GRID haha).

I am reasonably lucky because I live at home with my father, and so even if I feel lonely having someone moving about in the house helps a little bit. I think I'd deal with it differently if I lived on my own. I am lucky to be able to afford a car too, although it's nothing that special and is only an old Fiat Punto MK2 haha, but I have spent a great deal of time cleaning it and looking after it and it has been a lifeline for me (I know that sounds silly). Having a car is great to get you out and about, it doesn't have to be too much and I go to McDonald's and buy myself a coffee or milkshake. Seeing other people going about their life helps somewhat, and you feel more connected to the world if you interact with it. I also see my mum once or twice a week, we are very close and we don't live together so we only get to see each other occasionally. She always looks forward to going out and I normally take her out in my car for a coffee or a look around Sainsbury's etc.

Hope that helps a little bit. You can PM any members of the forum here as we will all try and help one another anyway we can. You can PM me if you like and I will try and help you some more. For help with M.E., there's no greater place to be than here, so put your feet under the table and get posting! smile

Dan
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