Anyone got any strong antidepressants?
I haven't felt this low for a while can't shake it now because where I had to go in my mind
Appointment was between 10-12. He arrived at 10.20.
He was in his late 20's I think & he is a paramedic.
First thought was oh shit they have sent me a paramedic!!!.
I suppose it's extra money don't know if Atos pays well or not
First thing he asked for was my medication I take, now this was not on the list of things he would ask for, & he wanted the appointment letter telling me he was coming which was on the list & I gave it to him.
I think the idea was to ask for something that's not on the list to see how you deal with it, it turns out it was a good thing to do because I asked does he want to see all my actual meds because there are a lot or a repeat prescription list, he said the list so I asked Mum to get it for me. When she had them she didn't have her glasses with her so she said can I see what they are & of course I couldn't but I have my magnifying glass next to me so I used that & I side glanced at him & he looked surprised & concerned.
Him being a paramedic, he has a strong poker face because lets face it they need to, to do that job but it made it very difficult to work out what he was thinking, except for three slips that was the first one, because he may of been watching me but i was also watching him.
Then he started to ask me quick fire questions sometimes not letting me finish my answer before asking the next one, I'm guessing this is done to confuse you & not give full answers to the questions. It was extremely tireing & annoying. At one point I said to him is there much more because I'm not being rude but your typing is doing my head in because I'm exhausted! He said not much more but I can do a lot of the typing in the car in the car park!. Oh god is that good or bad news?.
He tried the TV trick do you watch it I said it's usually on for company but I cant say I actually watch it. Do you listen to music I said no because music exhausts me which it does. He said do you read I said yes he said with the magnifying glass I said yes, he said how long do you read for, I said half an hour before I'm fed up with it because I can't see properly.
Do I go Out?
When was the last time you went out?
Easter to Mum & Dad's how did you get there?
So went all through the rigmarol of mobility scooter/car
when you get to your Mum & Dad's do you walk to the door, yes the garage is next to the front door, so you walk to the door yes about 6 steps!!!!
Do you see anyone else apart from your Mum & Dad
I said yes they are next door (what am I supposed to be doing with the neighbours?). do you see them I said no there just next door.
do you cope with understanding what people are saying?
It depends on how exhausted I am
When was the last time you went to a shop?
over a year ago
How do you get to appointments
I don't go to appointments
because i'm too exhausted & in pain for days afterwards
Do you go to any hospital appointments
No I should go to asthma clinic, neuro surgery, eye neuro gastro but can't get to any of them
When was the last time you went to one
over a year ago to the neuro eye man
how did you get there
I flew on a space ship that dropped from the sky! man I was really pissed off by now I guess you can see how bloody annaoying & exhausting thsi interigation was which lasted 70 mins by the way
so explained the mobility scooter Mum Dad car that I needed to do it.
do you see your GP
no I call them & ask to speak to them
you don't get that in London (he must be from london then)
I said you ring at 8am, ask for a call back after surgery which they do if they need to see me they come round if I need to take anything they send it to the chemist which mum picks up I never get any of my meds myself mum gets them for me
Can you read street signs I said it depends how far away they are I don't go out much at all but if I did I would need to drive teh scooter near the sign to see it
Are you registered partially sighted
no I don't know what qualifys you are partually sighted I should look into that (Anyone know?)
What do you do in the day
You said you read what else do you go on line I said I have to do my food shopping online because i can't get to teh shops.
(he was really trying to find something I do that ties me to a chair for x amount of time)
As you can see he jumped from subject to subject to confuse me/ trip me up.
Do you ahve friends I said no & I don't have any real life friends I said I have one online friend who I email once every two or three weeks.
Could you get to a destination could you plan a trip, I said I can't go
he said but could you plan a trip would you use google maps
I said I don't know if I would think of that I don't bother with anything like that because I can go anywhere anyway which I can't so what's the point!
So how would you get there I would ask Mum & Dad & would not be able to get there anyway, but they woudl help me I guess.
Do you go out in the garden?
do you sit in the garden
I sometimes sit in my wheel chair out there
how long for
20 mins or so
I can't remember all the questions because they were so many of them & so fast.
Oh he asked me to take 7 from a number three times with three different numbers I felt such a pillock because I couldn't & needed to use my fingers!. asked me if i would know if I had been given the right change I said I don't shop & if Mum got something for me I forget online she takes the money from my purse.
Oh & symptoms of the main illnesses uc ibs cfs IIH though I don't think he let me finish that one I think he cut me off
medication side effects he said I guess you wouldn't know really so I said no because of all the different symptoms of the actual illnesses
Oh Mum said that if I do push myself too far that I am near collapse go completely white & can't even speak to her & can't breathe which is very true I started to cry then. He said blood pressure do you take anything for that? I said no when ever anyone checks it they say it's always normal.
On every one of teh above illnesses he asked how long have i had it I said I don't know without gettig paperwork out I can't remember things liek that.
the depression what are you taking for that amitriptalien that's for pain I said yes & depression & anxity he said the dose I'm on isn't a theraputic amount, but then he said I guess it can help. How often does it affect you I said every day because of teh pain I'm in & I can't do anything I'm 46 I don't want to live like this I want to be able to get out of the house & be normal, do you ever feel like you want to harm yourself before amitriptaline yes now no. he said they don't usually prescribe amitriptalien because it's dagerous in high doese? (I'm on a low does according to him?!)
At the end he said I need to see you walk ( further back he asked me how far I can walk I said 35-40 meters) walked from one side of teh lounge to teh other.
Asked me to put my arms up as far as I can, behind my head as far as I can, arms out infront of me which is where his mask slipped again. My arms shake always when I hold them out in front of me I don't know why so as he was asking me to do things like palms up, backs or hands up grip his fingers put my thumb & next finger together to make an O, he said your arms are shaking, I said yes i don't knwo why if it's one of my illnesses or the meds, yes they really shake then he looked concerned
then quickly came the next time because he put his hand on my left leg, I said don't touch my legs because of teh phlibitus, he said sorry & held my foot instead. Then he put his hand at the back of my leg which I said hurt he said it's very swollen I said yes he wanted me to push one way or the other he said again it's very swollen I said yes & rolled up my trouser leg & pulled my sock down so he could see how much then he was concerned again.
So does any of that lot get me any money for PIP? you tell me because as far as i can work out it's a whole lot of muddled questions for 70 mins.
I feel like I've been run over by a truck, I feel very low because I usually do a good job of not thinking about all that & he made me go there.
any one know any good jokes?
Arh nuts here come the tears again
sorry no spell checking today hope you can under stand it & I've written this to help anyone who is going to have a home medical assessment for PIP by Atos.
Now it's another 6-8 weeks wait to find out if I'm getting any money or not
One down still ESA is on the missing in action list I'm still waiting for a home assessment date for that one, so one down one to go
Oh happy days!