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Author Topic: Advice needed for explaining CF to my sister  (Read 446 times)
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Kahmac
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« on: January 23, 2019, 06:05:32 PM »



Iíve recently had a couple of arguments with my sister about my chronic fatigue and would really appreciate some advice on how to get her to understand. Iíve had chronic fatigue for several years but itís only recently become an issue with her. Apologies for the long post!

A few weeks ago, while visiting our parents at Christmas, we both had our nails done as we were attending a wedding together. Her beautician was very bubbly and chatty while mine was quiet and I found it exhausting trying to chat with her. On our way home my sister found it necessary to point out that I hadnít made much of an effort talking at the salon and it was awkward to witness. I tried to explain that I find it difficult to chat with strangers because of my chronic fatigue. She snapped at me to ďstop using that as an excuse!Ē - I was so furious I swore at her and she was so angry at me she rushed back to the house ahead of me.

Nothing got resolved at the time. Weíre now back at my parents house and following a misunderstanding after I tried to make a joke she told me she still hadnít forgiven me for swearing at her last time and when was I going to apologise. She is apparently sick of ďwalking on eggshellsĒ and thinks itís her role as a sister to point out all the uncomfortable truths I may be avoiding. When I tried to explain my situation again her response was that she found it hard to believe I was struggling as I had a much better social life than her! I live in London and go to a quiz with close friends once or twice a fortnight and occasionally go out for meals with my husband. She and her husband live in a small town in Yorkshire and rarely see anyone or go out in the evening.

She canít understand that it is a very different matter meeting up with close friends and trying to initiate a conversation with a shy stranger. When I do go out I sometimes have to just sit there quietly and listen to my friends as Iím too tired to join in, but I still enjoy my evening.

Are there any links you can recommend that I can send to my sister so that she can understand and not think Iím faking when it suits me?

Thanks!
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roger
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« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2019, 06:58:00 AM »

Hi Kahmac,

There's lots of info on this forum's home page - http://www.chronicfatiguesyndrome.me.uk/ - but there's also lots of compelling stuff on the internet. Here's an example - https://www.cdc.gov/me-cfs/symptoms-diagnosis/symptoms.html. There are also some good books on the subject out there but in my experience people who aren't directly involved don't want to read them.

It is difficult to to convince friends/relatives of how debilitation CFS is because sufferers don't tend to LOOK ill. You can only do your best!

Good luck  fingerscrossed
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Kahmac
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« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2019, 01:19:27 AM »

Thanks so much, thatís really helpful.
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roger
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« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2019, 06:30:50 AM »

 smile thumbsup
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Anne56
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« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2019, 01:32:54 PM »

Hi karmac,

There are some good leaflets on the ActionforME website that you can download which are for friends and family. They explain the symptoms and how they affect us. Also the MEAssociation have the Purple Book which does the same. I don't try to explain myself anymore to friends or family who can't be bothered to get the proper information on this condition. Our energy is too precious.  38

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